| so i've been waiting for a long time for the issue of hypocrisy and complacency to be addressed from the pulpit of a conservative Bible church, such as the one i attend that my father happens to pastor. this is due to the fact that i hear my generation crying out for revolution in the church, but rarely do i hear other generations or strict fundamentalists calling out for change with an equal passion. today was the cracking of pandora's box but i fear the words spoken fell on ears to indifferent too hear them. let's start at the beginning of logic. now, this is being written without regard for my personal relationship with Jesus at this point in time. because if i added that, this would take years and words i'm not ready to speak. let's talk for a moment about belief. i believe in the Bible. i believe it is truth, although i'm the first to admit that my life struggles to represent that claim. i don't believe the Bible is for pussies or the politically correct. i believe there is a standard of expection regarding the desires of your heart and the actions that are the consequences thereof. i am a passionate person. therefore, i would rather not speak the name of Jesus and confess myself as his "follower" if i am unwilling to follow in all aspects of life. if you want a life of allowances and mediocrity, feel free to believe in something other than this. because this makes no allowance for lukewarm convictions or apathetic attitudes. however, this "religion" champions grace and love and thereby provides room to breathe for the imperfect. hence, i'm not advocating a profession of belief only in the presence of personal perfection. we make mistakes. no matter what we believe in, we make mistakes. this brings me to my current feelings regarding the church. clearly my general belief system is considered conservative or even close-minded. but what God intended was the most open-minded acceptance of any person on this planet irregardless of past or present in the name of a better future. the 2 commandments that God sets forth are to love Him with all heart, soul, and mind and to love your neighbor as you love yourself. all decisions, all thoughts, all discernments are to be direct products of those 2 commands. but when i sit in church and hear people telling each other how "this person is in sin and that person hasn't been here in awhile and how can we stop those sinners at the bar" i want to vomit all over the pew and the people and the profession. tell me, i dare you, which command those words are representing. because when i hear you say that "those kids with gauged earrings probably worship the devil" i want to shoot you in the face. because how will people EVER know love when you treat them with judgement and contempt like that?! tell me how that shows your love for God. tell me how that shows his love to them. it doesn't. and that's pretty much all i see in the church today. i see messed up kids who are products of parents who drop them at church then go get drunk instead of attending themselves and then wonder why their kids make bad decisions. if you, you whores for right and wrong, truly believe in God, then let him change you, however radical that may seem to this world. but prove him by your love. reach out instead of folding in. show love even if someone tells you they'll never believe in your God. it's not your job to decide who is "worthy of love". in the pews around me on sunday, i see mostly people who are content to claim they represent and follow a God they know nothing about. and i REFUSE to stand up alongside and be counted in those ranks, because apparently we don't even believe in the same God. He is real. but noone would ever know it by the words or love of those who claim his name the loudest **please note there are amazing unbelievable people who provide stunning examples of exceptions to all these generalizations. those people give hope** today in church we talked about a new movement of "christians" who are choosing to ostracize the institution of church and simply recognize Christ as the head of their fellowship and no leadership outside of that. i believe that's wrong, i believe God ordained the church, he ordained the role of the pastor, but i do not believe he EVER intended it to operate as a legalistic probation-like institution. excuse me for thinking we should all be able to come in, ashamed of our faults but honest about them, and find love, and rebuke, and encouragement all at the same time. so i'm not sure where to go with this....with my thoughts, my feelings. i hate being a part of something so twisted but unwilling to turn my back on it completely and support something else i believe is equally wrong. i'm all for love. i'm all for unconditional passion. i'm all for revolution. my frustration is not wrong. and until i find some answer, chances are i'll just sit quietly and watch things crumble while searching for a way to change them. "i say revolution, you say jah" |
